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Monday, September 15

Apply Less Pressure Here

Love I'm pretty sure this has been one of the busiest/most eventful years of my life.  With all the blogging and sewing and playing music and homeschooling and just being a parent/friend/daughter/person in general, sometimes I feel like SuperWoman.  And sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.  I had what felt like a mini-breakdown in August.  It was a hard month.  There were more things going on than I felt like I could handle, paired with some heart-breaking family news and some more family drama on the other side, and I just decided that something(s) had to change.  The question for me was: How do you give up one of your "things" when you are passionate about all of them?  And that was tough.

First, I assessed all the things that were keeping me busy night and day.  What was I willing to let go of?  I think this is the part where I'm supposed to tell you that I took a deep breath and eliminated some things from my life... except, I mostly didn't.  All of the "work" things that keep me busy, I love those things.  Oh, yeah... and they also help pay the bills.  For me, cutting out half of what was going on wasn't really an option.  So, what next?

Johnny and I did a lot of talking about how we could change some things around to make life a little less stressful.  As we planned and planned and redistributed responsibility, I realized that the thing that really needed to change was the amount of pressure I was applying to myself.

*You don't have anything to blog about today?  Well, now the world is ending and everyone is disappointed in you.*
*You fell asleep instead of answering those emails?  Well, now you've offended everyone waiting in that Inbox.*
*You didn't finish that project within your self-inflicted deadline?  Well, now everything else is going to suffer while you try to make up the time you've wasted.*

Anyway, you get the general idea.  I was placing so much pressure on myself, that I was feeling more than overwhelmed.  Like, only sleeping 3 or 4 hours a night, just so I could get all the work stuff done and still be a great mother and friend.  The SuperWoman feeling had left and I was just spent.  So, where do we go from here?

At some point I had a moment of clarity.  "This is stupid.  I have to love myself better and forgive myself more.  Or, even better: stop beating myself up all the time, and then there's no need for forgiveness."  So, here's what I've been focusing on:

*MORE SELF LOVE.
*Patting myself on the back for a job well done instead of focusing on what I didn't accomplish for the week.
*This one is hard for me, but saying no to friends when my week is feeling too heavy.  I can't always be everything for everyone and that's okay.
*Making sure I have time to decompress everyday.

I get a lot of comments asking how I "manage it all" and I hope this gives a little insight.  No one has it together all of the time.  Sometimes I "manage it all" pretty well (like a badass, really) and sometimes juggling is a joke and I drop all the balls I have in the air.  The thing is, when that happens you just pick them up and give it another go.  It's all gonna be okay.  xo.


34 comments:

  1. As a homeschool daughter, I wonder that so many times - and see it so many times - in my own Mama and her friends. It makes me excited for the challenges I'll face (because I want to be a home educator too) and considerate of the things I'll have to NOT do.

    Thanks for some insight.

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  2. Love this, Katie. I too, had a similar breakdown in August, with a similar revelation. My husband reminded me that I need to stop trying to make everything perfect, and make it "good enough"....which doesn't always come naturally to me. Carry on, sista ;)

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  3. This is everything I needed to hear today. :)

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  4. Katie, you are an awesome lady! That is all. :)

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  5. thank you so much for this post, katie. i've been feeling similarly. thanks for keeping it real.

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  6. I can understand how stressful day to day life can be. Have you ever thought about just taking a day off? My sister was a having a really rough time a while back and so a lot of family and friends just encouraged her to make time for herself. They suggested anything from taking the afternoon off to go to the library, having a date with her husband once a month, or simply leaving the kids with her husband while she went out and did whatever struck her fancy. I know that it is awfully tough setting apart time for "free time" but it could help you get reenergized! Have a lovely day!

    Anna Neumann from The Whistling Willow

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  7. Love this post! It is so true that a lot of the pressure we feel is internal-- the voice of rationality is not a friendly one when it applies (unreasonable amounts of) pressure on us! Thanks so much for sharing:)

    <3 Daisy @ http://simplicityrelished.com

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  8. Where's your tank from? I love it! Any I agree, balance is an illusion, for me it's more of a minute by minute negotiation lol

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  9. sometimes self-love is the hardest thing of all to do. i know i'm better at beating myself up over stuff too. hopefully this doesn't come off as any type of self-promotion, but i wrote a little something about loving yourself the way you need to be loved, if you have a minute :)
    http://greenteenonline.blogspot.com/2014/08/what-does-loving-yourself-really-mean.html
    keep on loving yourself!

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  10. Thanks. Sometimes these blogs seem just too hapy go lucky, or totally heartbreaksing. There seems to be no inbetween. it's nice to see a "real" post that is just plain and simple, without being completely depressing. Balance is one of those things we all seek to achieve, sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesnt.

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  11. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. This post spoke so much to my heart today. Thank you!!

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  12. Great post! Please follow me on https://www.bloglovin.com/bojancuha

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  13. I love your blog, but I would never be disappointed if you missed a day (or several!) to catch up on life! For me it's a lovely bonus when there's a new blog post, lucky for us readers that you want to share, but nothing that we can demand or expect from you, if you know what I mean. I think you are great, beautiful, honest and you rock! Please take care or yourself!

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  14. I can totally relate to you here. Often times when I feel really overwhelmed, I take a step back and realize that most of that pressure I feel is coming from me. And that just isn't fair to treat myself that way. I love that you are prioritizing self love! You work so hard and definitely deserve some time for yourself!

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  15. The theme of this whole year for me has been about finding happiness, calm and balance in life. I think it's an ongoing process and like you said, sometimes it's easy and everything fall into place and other times it's all you can do to keep your head above water. I think the feeling of failing is how we tell ourselves that it's time to pause and reflect.
    Alice
    www.alicemanfrida.com

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  16. I needed to hear this right now! I also fall into the trap of putting way to much pressure on myself often. Thanks for your honesty!

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  17. Thank you for this. I needed to read this post today more than you (or I) could have ever known.

    xo
    LG

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  18. i can totally, totally relate. sometime you just need to chose for yourself, good job :) you're still awesome!
    xo, cheyenne

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  19. I feel ya, sister! I work 40 hours a week + go to school full-time + run my blog (I post 3-4 times a week) + I'm a sister/girlfriend/daughter/grandaughter/friend. It's so hard to balance it all! With school this semester, I'm especially feeling like I'm drowning. I finally had to say to myself, "honestly. Who will notice if you post on Tuesday instead of your usual Monday?" and the answer was NO ONE EXCEPT FOR MYSELF! I don't even know the schedules of my most favorite blogs and I read blogs every single day! Taking a lot of that pressure off of myself has left me so much happier. I'm still able to do the things that I love and being busy, while also being a little happier. Keep going girl, but don't forget to give yourself some extra loving too.

    xoxo
    Taylor

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  20. This post is so timely Katie. I had a mini-meltdown last week over the very same things. I just didn't quite know how to articulate what was bothering me or what tangible steps to take to remedy the situation and get back to my more productive and happy 'calm'. The points you mentioned as your renewed focus are *exactly* what I'm needing in my life. Thank you so much for taking a moment to collect and share your thoughts. Best luck with your intentions moving forward :)

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  21. This post really struck a chord with me, I also sometimes feel like I am juggling a million things and when things get stressful my inner critic gets a bit harsh. Sometimes you need to take a day to put it to rest and remind yourself of how amazing you are.

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  22. I can relate...
    I don't know what your bad news was but I hope you are doing okay.

    There are always high and low moments in life. Sometimes there's a shitload of pressure and stress and it's in those times that you should sit back for a second and marvel at how much you can accomplish (a lot!!). We are all so lucky to be able to be here, to do things, to have family and friends...

    Valentina
    Valentina Duracinsky Blog

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  23. Great post. Keep making time for you!

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  24. Love this heartfelt post Katie. I feel the same way sometimes. Between working full time so far away from home and wanting to spend every single last waking minute with my babies, I find it hard to find time for my passions (like blogging), or even my couple (ouch!!). When I spend a bit more time with my hubby or doing the things I love, I end up missing my kids like I haven't seen them for months, and when I just take care of my kids, I feel like I no time for myself and go nuts. I have the hardest time *giving myself a pat on the back* like you say. Because in the end, I'm sure I'm doing a fantastic job at everything that I do, even if I don't always feel like it. Glad to know I'm not alone floating in my little boat.

    http://xfallenmoon.blogspot.com

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  25. Love his post! It's so true that it's important to just take some time for ourselves and decompress.

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  26. Thanks for being vulnerable with us. I know it can be scary, but in the end I just love it when I can relate. I think we all have been there in some form or another. I like your conclusion: good for you :)

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  27. A lot of times we put too much pressure and higher expectations on ourselves than others do. It's nice to step back, get some perspective, and admit/accept you're only human. Just take it one day at a time. Great post!

    StephanieLists.com

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  28. Ah i think we all hit this stage at some point, funnily enough it's been the last year to eighteen months that I've been yo-yo-ing back & forth in a similar situation and I've also realised that it's the self love that's important. Hang on in there!

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  29. It's a good thing that you've realised what you have. Congratulations on the decisions you've taken!
    Saying "no" and letting go of stress and unnecessary efforts is, ironically, what makes you more of a superwoman than juggling more tasks than any single human can assume does.
    I guess that displaying your stronger side, your successful self, let's say, publicly may have played a part in affecting how sucessful you actually feel about what you accomplish: comparing the thumbs up of when you have worked yourself to exhaustion to the (maybe?) absence of approval of the times when you kinda feel you haven't done all that you could.
    You are allowed time, and tears, and tiredness,... and that could never (everevereverever) make you less of a superwoman.
    Sorry for the speech, hehe :D Hope it reassures you! (it took me far too long to learn to say "no"... I know how it feels!)
    Best! xoxo

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  30. I love this post, as it's reassuring to know that other people feel like this sometimes too! None of us can do absolutely everything and I think we're all guilty of forgetting that sometimes. Good for you for taking a step back and reassessing though, I'm sure things will only get better from here. Good luck!
    justmuddlingthroughlife.com

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  31. This is so true. I know exactly how it feels to have a lot of pressures on my shoulders and feel helpless at the same time. We tend to over think and that's what make us stress out and be pushed to do all of these works at once to please other people.. Thank you for sharing :)

    xo
    www.colorsinmybubble.blogspot.com

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  32. great pic !!
    kisses
    www.normcoregirl.com

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  33. love this! you are doing great!

    xx nikki
    www.dream-in-neon.com

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