Monday, January 30

Emotional Ramblings Of A Very Sensitive Person

(Read the title first.  You've been warned.)

You know that feeling of being genuinely disheartened?  I really feel that today.  I know better than to get into Facebook discussions about religion and politics with many of my family members and old acquaintances unless I'm mentally up for the severe anxiety and sadness it brings with it.  I try to use my platform for as much good as I can.  Anywhere my voice can be heard, I want to be a reminder that empathy for others is IMPORTANT.

Anyway, I posted on an FB friend's thread today because I genuinely felt like I needed to.  Of course it was about our new president and it was a lot of very conservative white men responding by laughing at someone who was voicing their opinion in a very loud way.  Though I agreed with the things he was saying, he was doing it in such a threatening manner that I knew I was setting myself up for attack from the others with much different opinions. I felt like they were belittling him, but it wasn't just him.  They were driving home the point that right now, "liberals" are crying and moaning about what's currently happening in our country.  They are just "whining" about not getting their candidate elected.  That's when I got sucked in.  I gently reminded these men that even if you don't agree with someone's opinion, or they way they deliver it, calling names and being dismissive of their concern is coming from a place of superiority.  Even though we went back and forth for a long time and they played dumb about much of what I was saying (and I was VERY talked down to) they never understood my point.  People who are marching and being vocal about concerns about their country aren't whining and moaning.  This is coming from a place of REAL concern.  Concern for others.  Love for others.  Do I agree with the way some people are delivering their opinions?  Sometimes I don't.  But it does raise a red flag for me that there is a large outcry in America.  People doing what they feel they can, who are coming from a place of wanting to do good for others.  There are other people who want to make a joke out of that and that breaks my heart.  I DO find it heartening THAT though our country is very divided right now, the thing I'm taking away from most of the ugliness is LOVE of others.  CONCERN for others.  Even if you don't agree with someone, stepping back and looking at where their concern is coming from is very important.  This isn't a game to be won.  I mean, you can pitch a strong argument that it actually IS, but it also isn't.  I don't know.  This feels like a lot of scattered words on a computer right now, but I was just feeling so anxious and sad after that exchange.  I wish instead of the "our candidate won, get over it" mentality, there was more of trying to see where someone is coming from.  I'm also not saying that I think this is just a "conservative" mentality.  This was an actual exchange I had from people I've watched bully others AND myself.  I got to witness this superior mentality first hand.  We're grown ups now, guys.  It's time to put that away.

And, yes-- I realize I'm mostly preaching to the choir or whatever.  I just had an evening of being attacked on IG and then on FB today.  It's spirit crushing sometimes.  I'm often accused of either getting lumped into a group of bloggers who post too little about "real stuff", or the flip-side, post too much about politics and other "real stuff".  I get it, a lot of people are here for the crafts and the cute family stuff.  That is me.  But this is me, too.  So here's a bit of emotional rambling coming from a place deep pride in the human race, and deep sadness that it often isn't taken seriously.  That's all.

Love to you guys.  xo.


86 comments:

  1. Well said. I also hate getting in arguments online, but there comes a point when enough is enough. I feel like standing up for others and looking out for each other is the most Amercican thing we can do. I've seen so much hate lately and from people I thought were my friends/family. It's very disheartening but I attended the women's March in Chicago and it was refreshing to see such a large group of people spread love and concern for others. It reminded me that the majority of us are good out there and if we stand strong together we can get through this ��

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    1. It's true. Having people strong people around us is so important right now. <3 Also, thank you for marching. I have much respect for standing together and doing our best to make a difference.

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  2. Never leave your howl at home - although it hurts, although it would be a much more pleasant experience in living if we didn't have to use our voices in this way, but if we keep quiet, then it means we are shushing others who need us the most. We are choosing the side of oppression and hate if we are to remain silent, but it sure is taxing having to fight when our reasons for the fight stem from love. I can't believe how many people retort to name calling and brushing us off, as if we are on the naive side of history.

    I'll tell you what,
    we're on the right side of history
    Keep rising.

    <3

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    1. I whole-heartedly believe we are on the right side of history. Thank you. <3

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  3. stay strong! you're inspiring others to use their voice! Be proud, and even thought in the current climate is it difficult, know that you are not alone. Solidarity Sister!

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  4. Thank you for posting this. I hate that you had to go through that and be attacked and talked down to you on Instagram as well as Facebook. It really does cause so much anxiety and really depressing feelings to have that happen, I know. I think you were gentle but firm in what you' were saying and I agree with you. I'm not brave enough to enter into the conversation but if I were I would say the same thing that you had tried to say so honestly. If it helps I think you're wonderful and whenever you post the new blog post it makes my day!

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  5. Oh man,I'm sorry to hear that, but no you're absolutely not alone. I found out today certain members of my immediate family- all of whom are pretty close to each other- aren't speaking any more based on politically-stemmed arguments. I am a very neutral person on this forefront; I don't align well with either party. But the fact that our president is causing rifts between people I love makes me so angry. It's not right to have that kind of power and all I can do is try to mediate and pray that we're all wise enough to rise above.

    I left facebook shortly after the election and it has felt really good to remove myself from that narrative.But this discord and dialogue (or lack thereof) is everywhere. I feel disheartened too. Sending good vibes and happiness your way today. Just know you're 1000% not alone. - G

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    1. That is so sad. I've had family members divide over religion and politics before and it's so hard to watch. Sending good vibes and happiness right back to you.

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  6. You should be very proud of yourself for standing up to those belittling others on social media! People may come here for fun stuff, but it's important to share the truth of the world today, too. Especially for someone like you as a female role model for many young girls (including myself).

    I used to be afraid of voicing my opinion on social media because of fear of upsetting friends and family, but then I realized remaining silent is one of the worst things we can do. I actually ended up starting a platform for women to share their stories because I think it's so important for diverse voices to be heard. So often I'd be talking to friends learn something about them in private I never knew and they then confessed that they were scared to share it for fear of what others would think. But I believe emotionally vulnerability is one of the most important strengths we can teach ourselves to have.

    And every fight or "silly Facebook" argument is a moment that we stood up for ourselves and what we believe is right. Never shy away from voicing your concerns! Our democracy depends on it! And there's no reason you can't be fun and emotional. That means your human and I love that!

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    1. You're so right- vulnerability IS a strength. I love that you've started this platform-- much love to you!

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  7. I am sorry this person treated you this way. I am upset about all of this political stuff too. My family patronizes me all the time. It sounds like the people you are referring to have a problem with women talking about politics. A lot of men treat women like politics isn't our business, or that it's something we don't understand. Never believe that. It effects us too!

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  8. Thanks for posting this, Katie. Your concerns and worries here are super valid, and I totally get the frustration you're feeling about the condescension and refusal to engage from certain subsets of political views. I'm sorry that they were so nasty. I'm proud of you for speaking up.

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    1. Thank you, Morgan. There are days where I feel strong and proud, but sometimes there are those days where you don't understand how someone can literally say to a person "you don't matter" and it just feels crushing. EVERYONE matters. <3

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  9. Thanks for posting this, Katie. I don't think I've left a comment on your blog before, but now seems a good time to do so. I like the crafts and the cute photos on your blog, partly because it's nice to escape from the sometimes dark reality of the world (that I also constantly deal with in my day job).

    I just wanted to say that I appreciate the little note on politics you left here . What you write is actually more about general kindness and respect, but it seems that in the world we live in today those two things are political acts. Which makes me think, "crafts and the cute family stuff" are definitely real stuff too. Perhaps focussing on the good, on the nice, on the happy, on the creative, as practices of self-care, are a form of silent protest in the world we live in today.

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    1. Thank YOU for your words. I love thinking of focusing on positives as silent protest. It's definitely a balancing staying positive and being culturally aware sometimes. <3

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    2. I'm really glad you spoke up. I think we need to bring love and kindness to political discussions and not walk away from them. We need to present a third option which respectfully expressing opinions - even if they are dissent. The only way we learn and grow a people is to listen to other points of view and challenge our own. Thank you for doing this and seeing the separation of bullying behaviour from points of view. I'm sure you will have had an impact on those who were behaving that way - even if you don't know it. Stay strong. Stay surrounded by loved ones. Continue to engage and believe in hope and love.

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  10. Sometimes when I'm feeling some of the feelings you are describing I reread this: http://www.grahameb.com/pinkola_estes.htm
    It helps me. I hope it helps you.

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    1. thank you. I'll definitely make sure to read it. <3

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  11. I totally feel you, girl... I'm in school right now and can NOT concentrate with all of this madness. It's so distracting. There's so much hatred, and I can't stop reading article after article about all of the awful things happening. I attended a protest in Seattle last night though and it felt so good to be surrounded by like-minded people all hoping to make a difference and stand tall and proud to fight for equality. You're doing the right thing. Much love to you. xo

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    1. The madness is maddening sometimes, isn't it? Yesterday I couldn't even listen to the radio because I needed to escape it. We CAN make a difference. We'll just keep standing up for others and spreading the good. <3

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  12. I can relate. I often get sensitive and anxious when there are debates on social media.
    I am sorry that you experienced bullying today. But I think that it is good that you spoke up.
    I agree with you, that even if folks disagree politically, they should be able to still treat each other with human decency. And I agree with your point that the marches that have been happening are not coming from sore losers, but folks with genuine concerns. Sending love to you Katie! You were very brave to speak out!

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  13. Just letting you know that this wasn't nonsensical scattered words. But it made sense, and I'm sure will ring true to a lot of others who read this.
    It's such an emotional roller coaster being on social media recently, and thank you for sharing your heart with all of us.
    I hope you found something happy and peaceful to do tonight, to recoup from all the ugliness.
    You're awesome and people suck.
    And I wish people would listen to people like you, more!
    😘😘
    I hope your week gets better, lady. ❤️

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    1. Thanks, dear. I closed my computer, got cleaned up, and took my gals for ice cream. It was just what I needed. <3

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  14. Extending you a big hug for your braveness, and a high five for speaking up for yourself. We are all in this together!

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  15. I feel your pain. I have a heavy heart this week. I'm having a very difficult time functioning at all with the level of anxiety I'm experiencing with all of this.

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    1. My hands literally went numb because of how anxious I was feeling yesterday. Sending all the good vibes your way.

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  16. Thank you for posting this. I think it's important, especially in times such as these, to see people who you look up to (even if just for crafty things, style pics, ect.) taking a stance for what is right. For helping and loving and supporting. I think it's important for readers to see the people they follow as fellow citizens of the world, not only suppliers of escapism media.

    So thanks for taking a stand and sharing about it. <3

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    1. Absolutely! I understand the need for the "pretty" but I love seeing the people around us speaking out and encouraging others to do the same. <3

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  17. Very much agree with all of this. It's so draining and even more so for those that are extremely concerned about whats happening. But when you elect a leader who sets the example that it's ok to belittle and treat people badly, it's not surprising that most of these arguments lack most respect.

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  18. I'm sorry to hear that, Katie. I agree with everything you said about coming from a place of love. Oh and if someone has a problem with this type of post, they can head somewhere else on the Internet, but I say you do you! ��

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  19. Well said. From a fellow very sensitive person who feels the same. :)

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  20. Love to you. Sorry you had such a challenging exchange today with these bullies. I'm feeling similarly to much of what you described. Disheartened is the only way I can describe it. *Hugs*

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  21. Hi Katie! I've been following your blog for a while now, but this is the first time I write here. I am from Romania, a country where the citizens are currently divided by their political stance and fierce arguments with parents and families and loved ones are sucking the life force of most of us. Similar to what is going on in the US and what you write about. I know it can be overwhelming sometimes, and you put this high pressure burdening feeling on your shoulder, but I am here to tell you it is alright! You cannot and don't have to control you empathy, but you are not responsible for other people's actions and responses. You can only steer your thoughts and control, or rather choose your reactions.
    I am an optimist by nature and what I choose to believe is that all that is happening around the world right now, in different places but similar scenarios, is that we are hit in the face by the accumulation of past decades, of the low quality of education and the inability to discern information (because no one thought as how to), of the issues neglected until now, and the power of saying 'enough'. I do believe people are slowly waking up from their comfortable little boxes that they have built around themselves and it hurts. It hurts and it takes a lot of courage to admit that what you believed your whole life is just one side of the story and when someone tells you a different side of the same story, is hard to accept other perspective. It's in the nature of men to be resistant to change. I believe we need to be patient and hopeful, as always. To be strong, as I know you are, for those who will realize the futility of violence and will need an embrace.
    I believe these are extraordinary times we live in and it's a good thing that what is happening is happening. It's time to make our world a better one and for that to occur, every rotten tomato has to be dug up and light shone upon it.
    Peace and joy!
    Claudia

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words. You are right, growing up being taught a certain set of values, it takes stepping out of your box to see others' perspectives. And I really do feel hopeful when I see more and more people speaking out. It's our duty to be good to each other.

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  22. I really appreciate you writing this because I, and soo many countless others, feel the exact same way. It's sad when we feel inclined to speak up for love it results in belittling and blind arguing without even a chance of understanding and diplomatic conversation. I hide behind my crafts and colors because that is me, but this politically concerned person is me too.
    I don't really know what to do... except try to keep loving and having patience? It's hard sometimes but have to keep trying

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    1. I agree. We have the hard days, we brush ourselves off, and we get back out there. <3

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  23. this is my favorite blog post from you in awhile! it's nice to hear your voice, and your real thoughts. i welcome more of this any time your sensitive heart wants to be heard. xox.

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    1. Thank you. I truly appreciate it. <3

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  24. It can be so scary to stand up to the loud, angry voices...especially as a sensitive person. The willingness of introverts and sensitives and anxiety-prone folks to speak out for the rights of others is what gives me hope for this country right now. Thank you for being one of those people!

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    1. It's true. I've been so proud of so many of my friends for being willing to stand up, even when the anxiety can be crippling. <3

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  25. I understand where you're coming from Katie and I'm sorry you went through that. I seen your post on Instagram and commented but no worries, I just said something about how I shut down my cable because of the news and how it's negative and overwhelming. My IG handle is LauraliStarxo. I didn't read the other comments and had no idea you were being attacked for having an opinion. That makes me sad to hear because I know how that feels.

    To be honest, and this is just my philosophy and you can take it or leave it but maybe, from my personal experiences of being attacked on the internet, it's better if we just live in the spirit of what we feel. People tend to get passionate (myself included) and unfortunately it turns into an all out verbal war.

    There's no way to fight with people who don't hear you because they think they are in the right and their way is the only way. This is a rule I started to live by after being attacked on Facebook for being vegan, for political and religious views (I'm a Christian but a very open-minded one), and for many other ridiculous things.

    Again, I'm really sorry this happened to you and you definitely have the right to voice your opinion but I say these people, who probably don't even know you, aren't worth it. I hope you feel better. You seem to me like a really sweet, sensitive woman with a lot of love in her heart.

    Sending You Good Vibes,

    ~Laurali Star

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    1. Thank you. I'm definitely feeling in better spirits today, mostly because of people like you and the others who have commented. Sending good vibes back at you.

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  26. The internet is an ugly place these days. So much nastiness. We're more divided than ever.

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  27. Thank you for this post Katie. I praise you for using your platform to spread good and love! I am sorry for how those people treated you on IG and Facebook- I recently inactivated my Facebook due to the negativity. There IS good in this world, though it's hard to see sometimes and you are a big part of that good. Thank you for sharing not only your crafts but your voice regarding the current divide in our country.

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    1. Thank you, Shannon. There is a lot of good in this world and we are part of it. <3

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  28. very sensitive words, to my opinion (and i born land down under, from the other side of the border line..) i understand your feelings! in some way people doesn't realize that those actions could affect to several people, is not that we are liberals but humans!
    i'll send you big big and a warm hug from Mxc ;) thanks for stand still! xo

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  29. Thank you sharing this, Katie. You have a huge heart <3

    (mynamemeancute.tumblr.com)

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  30. Katie, i have followed your blog for a long time and admired your creative abilities, adorable family, musical prowess and sweet thrift store scores. Lately, adding to the scary feeling of entering a twilight zone society is visiting lifestyle/fashion/parenting blogs who are not even acknowledging the turmoil going on in our country. Regardless of ones political opinion, I strongly don't agree with this 'business as usual' approach. Thank you for being vulnerable and for sharing your emotions and making a connection. People are forgetting that respectfully sharing ones opinions and points of view encourages openness, understanding and compassion. Today you made me feel less alone. <3

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    1. I love your words, Lindsay. Thank you for making ME feel less alone. <3

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  31. Thank you so much for this post, Katie.

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  32. You've summarized my thoughts exactly. At times I am inspired, at times I am feisty, and at times I am down-right defeated. I'm trying to keep my chin up, as we all are. Hugs xo

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  33. I agree that people express feelings, bad language and poor respect. But elected this person as president is trangically funny. And sad. Some political comment and a real social discussion is more interesting.

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  34. Oh Katie, I'm so sorry. This is one of the reasons I stopped logging into Twitter. It was disheartening. Lots of love to you and you have my support!

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  35. So much respect for this post. Like some other commenters, I too have been disheartened by some of the other blogs I read that have gone on pretending the world is unicorns and rainbows. You have a platform - why not use it to try to make a difference? I can understand that some people don't want to post "real stuff" for fear of losing readers, but I think some things are too important to ignore. Good for you for standing up for your beliefs, even when you know that it won't change the minds of some who have their heads buried in the sand or simply refuse to see the other side of the debate. As a fellow highly sensitive person (INFJ for the win!), I am proud of your decision to speak out, even though you knew you may get hurt in the process. Hold your head high, be proud of yourself, and don't get discouraged.

    "I believe that unarmed truth and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant" - MLK

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  36. Thank you for your words. We (me and my family) are also concerned about what is happening at this moment well everywhere its seems. Love, respect and honesty and vulnerability are I think keywords to understand each other. I hope i make some sense (i'm dutch) And we humans are so much more then just one or two things, duh.

    Be who you are and big big love from me

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  37. I hardly ever comment but your feelings of anxiety and sadness reflect so much of mine. I had nightmares after the refugee executive order because I personally know multiple people who are affected by this order. And I just don't know what I can say to them. I feel sad. I feel nervous. No matter whose been president in my lifetime, I've never felt this way. It's unnerving. Why can't people put themselves in others shoes and show more empathy? Is it something new for this generation to have a complete lack of perspective other than your own? I know some people can't see past the end of their own nose, but really? Why not respect each other's point of view rather than attack back in an air of arrogance. I'm sorry this happened to you.

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  38. I'm absolutely with you on this and how you feel, from here in UK. I had very similar experiences over Brexit and it was awful to experience. We, the UK, feel your worry and fears about the new president. The world is here for you all. Stay strong 💪 ❤

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  39. I hear and feel you. I had similar experiences here in the UK over Brexit. It is heart breaking and horrible to go through. Know that the UK shares your worries and fears about the new president, the world is here for you! Stay strong 💪 ❤

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  40. Keep on, lady! The day we start to shut up and don't discuss politics and happenings in the world we will be doomed.

    Greeting from Europe. We are as worried as you are.

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  41. Thank you for speaking up. We all need to stand up for what we believe in,our rights, and the rights of others. Complacency will get us nowhere. Thank you for posting about it on your blog, instead of ignoring what is going on. Sending you a virtual (((hug))). I think we all need more of those!

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  42. I'm a highly sensitive, introvert, 'conservative' Christian, and I feel like our world (and social media) is exhausting right now. I try to hear what people are saying and ask God to check my heart first, and then I pray a lot because I do feel our country is divided more than ever in my lifetime. It scares me a little but I try to trust Him. I do not post much religious or political on fb, because time has taught me I will most likely be misunderstood, belittled, or 'lumped in' with a philosophy or person I do not necessarily agree with. :/ Anyhow, thank you for sharing, and you are not alone. And I'm praying we can all find peace.

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  43. We can never know the number of people who are looking for our tribe until they know what tribe we are on. I am so glad you are speaking up. It will give others the courage to speak as well.

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  44. Thank you for speaking out. It's not even about left vs. right anymore, and so many people just aren't getting that. I wake up every day feeling like I'm in some alternate reality, feeling frustrated and disoriented, and disheartened that I know people in real life who are OK with and supportive of what is essentially our country being torn apart.

    We can't just sit back and let this be our new norm. <3

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  45. Thank you for being you. Empathy for the win, always.

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  46. Thank you for posting Katie! Read something this week about spending your energy wisely so your light can shine. Yours does - brightly, and it is clear you try to be thoughtful and fair in considering all sides. Keep on keeping on!

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  47. I totally get what you are saying. For the first time in 10 years, I had to leave Facebook. I felt more anxiety and sadness after Trump got elected from what I saw coming out of the mouths of people I loved (both on the Trump and the Clinton sides.) As a generally peaceful person, I found myself getting SO WORKED UP responding to anyone that had a hateful comment (on either side) and some of my close relationships were being strainged. I feel so much better being away from it. People are using Trump as an excuse to belittle others (or on the flip side fuel their outrage) and no one is realizing that all of this hate, superiority and anger was already there inside of everyone and now people are just slapping a "meaning to it."
    I'm just trying to keep thinking positively and hoping that the world evens itself back out again. xoxo

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